DBT- Willing or Willful? How One Forgets in the Process of Forgiving

“I don’t know if I’m bitter but I know I am resentful. How do I even begin to forgive when I know I can never forget?” asks so many who come through my office. Anger can be a hard blot to remove from the soul and the idea of forgetting what happened makes resolving anger seem even more impossible. But possible it is! Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) teaches the difference between being willing and being willful. Willful looks like clenched fist and teeth or arms crossed and eyes rolling. Willingness is palms open, a half smile, and a yes attitude. When you are willing rather than willful you open yourself to the possibility of other options for yourself and to the reality that you have the ability to think differently about what has happened- hence you forget. Willingness is the very first step to curing oneself of resentment and journeying on toward forgiveness. Forgiving is a process that involves forgetting- choosing instead to think deeply in more helpful, realistic terms about what has happened. After awhile the hurt and sadness heals and the alternative way of viewing what happened makes more sense-  gets you unstuck, helps you forget. Relationships cannot grow and transform without the giving up of destructive anger. Forgiveness for the soul is like autumn rains on parched landscape. Relinquish, renew and refresh by learning to be willing. DBT group forming now!! Call me at LET IT RAIN PSYCHOTHERAPY today. 

Let It Rain Psychotherapy 817-874-8169

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